The day I found out I was going to be a dad

In just a couple of weeks, it will have been six months since I lost my dear wife.  I had something in mind to say about the occasion, but, in reading it, it just didn’t sound right.  So, instead, I want to share a very special event in our life:  the day we found out that she was pregnant.

We had the hardest time conceiving. So much so that we were going to see a specialist about it.  I will spare the details as they are between myself and Jo Ellen.  Suffice it to say, it happened.

In the time leading up to the morning that we found out, I played it pretty cool.  Kind of shrugging off the whole idea of us being parents.  I had always joked with her about first buying a house and then buying what ever the latest computer was before we would have a child.  Much to my surprise, I got both.  So, it was time to ‘pay up’, so to speak.  A year or so later, the momentous day arrived.

I will never forget it, either.  We had talked about her taking the little test while we were together. I didn’t want to miss it: be there for her if it were negative and there to share the joy if it were positive.  What I had not specified was that I be awake. 

Well, she was so excited that she took the test at the ungodly hour of before 9am.  Now, I am not a morning person and need at least a Venti – sized cup of coffee to even think about waking up.

So, she takes the test.  Naturally, it was positive.  To quote a co-worker of mine, there was a bun in the oven.  Jo Ellen says ‘wake up, daddy, I’m going to have a baby.’  Of course, being male, a very sleepy male, I made some stupid remark like ‘that’s nice dear’ or something equally lame.  But, then it hit me.  Holy crap! I’m going to be a WHAT?  Oh my!  What have I done?  (Yeah, pretty self-centered, I know) Oh man.  Crap, crap, crap! So, I got up and went into the bath room and hugged and kissed her.  We were both so excited, happy and scared witless.

Well, being a woman, she wasn’t just going to let my lame response go unnoticed. Oh no.  After that initial excitement waned, she reminded me-OVER and OVER-of my response.  No, I never forgot it, she would not let me.   But, she was so happy.  It is probably the happiest I had ever seen her up to when Chase was actually born. 

His birth, like any child-a true miracle, was just as emotional and joyous.  She had to have a c-section due to some complications but, when they took him out and he started to make noise (something he does to this very day) the two of us just lost it.  She was so happy. I was so scared. This was real. It really happened.  We had our child.  We had our house. I had my super duper computer, which was already old.  But, more importantly, we had our child.

I got share him with her for twelve wonderful years.  There were some rough spots, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Having Chase brought us closer together, though, at times, it may not have seemed that way. We didn’t always agree on what to do with him, but she was almost always right. At least, I let her think that.   (I’m sure she would say otherwise.)

That morning, though, is the way I will remember her: so happy. 

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